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Dyke Diagnostic Manual
by Mickey Eliason

The Dyke Diagnostic Manual, Third Edition-Revised (DDM) is the lesbian supplement to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) used to diagnose mental health problems in the general population. There is a critical need for the DDM, because rates of dyke drama have been escalating in recent years with the proliferation of lesbian drama in the mainstream media, such as messy break-ups of prominent lesbians as well as religious right outrage about same-sex marriage and other gay rights issues. The DDM provides a succinct history of dycology, the history and psychology of lesbians, and then proposes 34 unique diagnoses of lesbian pathology. These include the well-known conditions of U-Haul Syndrome and Lesbian Fusion Disorders as well as the lesser known problems of dycolepsy and PMS (partner menstrual synchronicities). Each condition is explored in terms of signs and symptoms, etiologies, case examples, and treatment and prevention considerations. The manual also contains maps of the lesbian brain to unravel mysteries such as gaydar, offers a model of social determinants of dyke drama, and has several self-assessment tools, such as the De-Dyking Anxiety Scale. The DDM was developed with a goal of eradicating dyke drama and channeling misdirected lesbian energy for the greater good.

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