Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – April 2, 2016

I wrote an e-letter to a friend who had asked me how I was doing. I actually had to think about it as opposed to giving her everyone’s pat “I’m fine” response. My friend lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. Here’s what I wrote:

Hi… I love your family photo! It was of her, her teenage son, the new girlfriend, and the girlfriend’s teenage daughter.) I hope the assholes in North Carolina aren’t screwing up your plans to be a lesbian! What on earth is going on there????

And the similar Mississippi law adds that women can’t wear pants! I think it’s time an LGBT army of lovers – well dressed, of course – mounts up and charges!

 All is well here, depending on one’s definition of well. 

 Kelly and I are truly doing well and moving forward with our plans to marry later this year, maybe Jan. 1 2017. We just don’t know yet and don’t need to. But we have some fun trips on the books (Barbados and a Windstar cruise, a kd lang concert in Victoria, Canada, my niece’s wedding in Chelan, WA, a fishing/bear watching trip to the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska, and a whale watching trip in the Sea of Cortez) and will add a Florida Keys bike ride as soon as womantours.com adds it to their schedule. The funny thing is that our most cherished, fun place in the world is our home in Sequim, WA so I’m not sure why we travel so much other than we’re getting older and can still move around!

 My youngest sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer (stage O) and is having a double mastectomy later this month. Luckily it was caught much earlier that Sherry’s, and Sher’s was a far more aggressive type, but it all sucks.

 Mom turns 90 on Friday. We were planning a big soiree but since Sher died, Mom doesn’t want anything but immediate family. 

 Sher died…I can barely do those words. I’m still so raw, still can’t believe it. Barry and I have become very close and spend good time crying – and even laughing sometimes – together.

 I’m going to Florida for three weeks to housesit for Helen while she goes to Europe for her 78th birthday. The crazy thing is that I get three whole weeks without having to pack or unpack! And I’ll be able to see my daughter and my granddaughters.

 Granddaughter number two graduates from high school in June and was accepted into the School of Music at the University of South Florida. Mom and I are going to her graduation in St. Pete.

 Erik and Jenn and Cara and the boys are moving up north, the girls and boys to Portland and Erik to either Portland or Seattle, wherever he gets the best job offer, after he spends three weeks in Europe in September. So we’re all migrating to the Pacific Northwest where we’re still free (at least as free as possible in the US) as LGBT people.

 Kelly and I head for our home in Sequim in mid-May and will return in mid-Nov. I’m going to become a WA resident.

Take good care, and get out of NC if at all possible before they bring in the damned brownshirts to arrest the queers!

The one thing I forget to tell her was that my WWII is almost finished! One more round of self-editing and then it goes to readers for feedback. While they’re reading and feedbacking, I’m going to search for an editor who will take a WWII-avatar-historical novel-young adult fiction book. Kind of a niche….

I’m deeply grateful that I’m doing well! How are YOU doing?

Happy April!

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

Today in LGBT history: April 2

2005 – NAACP Chair, Julian Bond, states in a national speech that “gay rights are civil rights”

2013, Uruguay – Uruguay senate approves same-sex marriage by a vote of 23-8, becoming the fourteenth country in the world to legalize marriage equality.

Visit my blog: Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian. at http://purplebookspublishing.com/blog/

(Information from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do the research and let me know. Thanks!)

Visit my facebook page at www.facebook.com/ronnisanlo for daily LGBT history/herstory.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

 

 

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 27, 2016

 

Two weeks ago Kelly and I attended a St. Patrick’s Day dinner here in the Four Seasons community. We sat at a table with four gay men, chatted with the two couples all evening, and had a nice time. Several days later one of the couples invited up to their home for lunch. Yesterday was our lunch with them. The men were our ages, give or take a couple of years, one a retired educator and one a retired accountant. Both were married to women for many years and have children, found each other on line, and have been together for twelve years. Their home was absolutely beautiful and the meal delish. What was striking for Kelly and me was that the conversation, from the instant we walked in the door, was sweet, deep, authentic, and personal. These two men not only shared their stories with us but engaged us equally in our stories. It was such a delightful two and half hours and we’ll spend time with them again.

Two thoughts entered my brain yesterday with these two guys. First, it’s nice to have friends in our gated neighborhood as we all age in place. There are many lesbians and gay men here and we will to get to know more of them. The second thought was that Kelly and I just made our friends. Her friends in Palm Springs are wonderful and I like many of them very much, even love some. My friends are also good people who adore Kelly. But now we have our friends, who met us as a couple. We actually have several of our friends in Sequim, especially our neighbors in our ‘hood, but this is a first for us in Palm Springs and our life as a couple continues to expand.

We’re not married yet, now looking at Jan. 1, 2017 as a possible wedding date though it could happen earlier. But we bought our rings which we picked up last Wednesday from the jeweler in Ventura. Of course we couldn’t wait so we’re wearing them now. I love how we’re doing our marriage! So non-traditional and a tad confusing for some, but it works for us and we’re having a blast!

Life is very good indeed and I’m deeply grateful…

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1943, The Netherlands – A group of resistance activists, led by Willem Arondeus, a gay man, dressed as German soldiers, infiltrated the citizen registration building, and destroyed it. The attack inspired similar ones.

1951, China – The U.S. State Department announces firing of four homosexuals from the Hong Kong office, one involved in a visa bribery plot and the other three discovered during the plot investigation.

1977 – On Face the Nation, White House press secretary Jody Powell defends charges that the Carter Administration panders to gay activists by saying, “For an organized group who feel they have a grievance that they are not treated fairly, for them to have a right to put that grievance before high officials and say ‘We want redress,’ that to me is what the essence of America is all about.  What I feel about gay rights or any other group doesn’t have a thing in the world to do with it.”

(Information from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do the research and let me know. Thanks!)

Visit my facebook page at www.facebook.com/ronnisanlo for daily LGBT history/herstory.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 24, 2016

The other day I wrote about how sucky 2016 is looking. I have since reframed.

My sister Sherry died on January 3rd because it was time. Her brain cancer had progressed rapidly and she was deteriorating quickly. I miss her beyond measure but I know she’s with me every moment.

The cancer in my sister Barbra was found at an extremely early stage and the double mastectomy is exactly the right action under the circumstances. I’d do the same thing and I’m proud of her courage to move forward quickly.

Kelly and I will be married this year which is total joy! And today is ring day!!!

My granddaughter Callie graduates from high school and will start the University of South Florida Music School in the fall.

My niece Ellie is getting married to Gary in June in Chelan, Washington, which will be a fun trip for us. My son Erik will turn 40 during that celebration!

Kelly and I are going to a kd lang concert in Victoria, Canada, in June; a fishing and bear watching trip in Alaska in July; and Barbados and a Windstar cruise in the Caribbean in December.

I’m 69 years old and life is truly good! Thank you, Higher Power, for your unending gifts of love and life…

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1794, France – Anacharsis Cloots, originally known as Jean-Baptiste du Val-de-Grâce, baron de Cloots ,was an orator and a New Atheist long before New Atheism was a thing. He was embroiled in revolutionary politics before being used as a scapegoat and guillotined by the same revolutionaries. Some of his oratory indicates that he was likely an outspoken ally of lesbians and gay men.

1971 – In defiance of the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service, a federal judge grants U.S. citizenship to a 24-year old gay man from Cuba, ruling that an applicant’s homosexuality cannot, in itself, bar a person from becoming a citizen

1986 – William Hurt wins the Best Actor Oscar for his role as an imprisoned homosexual window dresser in Kiss of the Spider Woman

1987 – ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) stages its first major political action in the financial heart of New York City to demand that the federal government stop dragging its feet on the approval of new drugs that might benefit people with AIDS. Seventeen protesters are arrested for obstructing traffic when they sit down in the intersection of Broadway and Wall Street.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 22, 2016

Cancer is haunting my family in 2016. My sister Sherry died of breast/brain cancer on January 3rd. My baby sister Barbra is having a double mastectomy soon, with a diagnosis of DCIS. Luckily, it’s staged as 0 so it’s caught extremely early. Her doctor suggested that with our family history, her best course of action is mastectomy. That’s good, and I’m glad it’s caught so early. It just sucks that it’s even an issue.

I’m still processing, but one thing’s for sure: I’m so incredibly grateful for my body and my health….

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1972 – The Equal Rights Amendment, banning discrimination on the basis of sex, passes the U.S. Senate. Opponents of the amendment claim it will destroy the nuclear family, give broad civil rights to homosexuals, and even mandate unisex rest rooms in public.  Though by the end of 1972 twenty-two of the required thirty-eight states had ratified it, the ERA failed to receive the requisite number of ratifications before the final deadline mandated by Congress of June 30, 1982 expired, and so it was never adopted

1976 – New Jersey Superior Curt rules that transsexual people may marry based on the reassigned sex

2004 – In Oregon, the commissioners of Benton County decided not to start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. This reversal of an earlier vote was due to receiving a letter from state attorney general Hardy Myers on the matter. In place of same-sex marriage licenses, the commissioners decided to stop issuing any marriage licenses to anyone at all until the Oregon Supreme Court rules on the constitutionality of the discriminatory provisions of Oregon’s marriage laws.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 20, 2016

Today is my 69th birthday. I’m grateful for this day, for waking up healthy, for the love in my life, and for family and friends. I feel sadness, too, because it’s the first birthday since I was two years old that I won’t hear my sister Sherry’s voice. I’ll be with Kelly and Dooney and my son today and I’ll feel the love they so freely and openly share with me, and I’ll feel Sher, my guardian angel, on my shoulder…

I heard this tune on a television ad recently. It’s a perfect birthday song..

I’ve been a poor one and I’ve been a queen,
I’ve had my life and the world on a string,
I’ve traveled many roads and I’m so far from done.
I’ve made some wrong turns, I’ve made some mistakes,
I’ve broke some promises back in the day.
I have been hopeless and I’ve had my faith,
Some things I’ve lost and some things I have saved.
All of these moments showed me the way that I’ve gone.
Good to know, there’s so much to live for…
What a day to feel alive!

Day To Feel Alive
Jake Reese

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1961 -The United States Supreme Court denies certiorari to Frank Kameny’s petition to review the legality of his firing by the United States Army’s Map Service in 1957, bringing his four-year legal battle to a close

1970 – Twenty-three year old David Bowie marries nineteen year old Mary Angela Barnett. A few years later, Bowie explains how they met, “Angela and I knew each other because we were both going out with the same man.”  Angie Bowie went on to a career in Hollywood, though the two divorced in 1980

1978 – The San Francisco Board of Supervisor passes what is described as “the most stringent gay rights law in the country.”  Only one of the eleven supervisors — Dan White — votes against the ordinance

1986 – After fourteen years, the New York City Council finally passes a gay rights ordinance with a vote of 21 to 14.  Mayor Ed Koch tells reporters, “The sky is not going to fall.  There isn’t going to be any dramatic change in the life of this city.”

1988 – M. Butterfly opens on Broadway. The play by David Henry Hwang is bout a civil servant attached to the French embassy in China who falls in love with a beautiful Chinese opera diva who is a “man masquerading as a woman.” They are together for twenty years until the truth is revealed. The civil servant is convicted of treason and imprisoned, then kills himself

1990 – Queer Nation formed in New York to eliminate homophobia and increase visibility of LGBT people

2004 – A lesbian minister in Bothell, Washington, is acquitted by a Methodist church jury of violating church rules.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 19, 2016

Yesterday, after a good three-mile walk and a 12-step meeting, Kelly took me to PF Chang’s for a birthday lunch though my birthday isn’t until tomorrow. Her mother and sister are coming to visit us today for the weekend so we took advantage of a day together yesterday. I had the kung pao shrimp…holy cow! I think it was the best shrimp dish I’d ever eaten! That sauce! And the shrimp were perfectly grilled.

My iPhone 5 phone was two and half years old and had started to actually growl at me. Seriously! It began making a growling noise that stopped only when I turned the phone off. I’m convinced that these expensive phones are made to self-destruct after two years.

After lunch we walked over to the Verizon store. Both Kelly and I bought new iPhone 6 devices. Because we’re getting older and more stupid as new devices come out, it took well over an hour for the Verizon people to download, upload, and teach us how to use our new toys. I asked the young saleswoman to consider me her grandmother, that I know nothing, and needed her brilliant assistance. She laughed and said that her grandmother was totally computer savvy, that it was her mother who knew absolutely nothing!

My son Erik arrived last night to spend the weekend in Palm Springs with my niece Ellie and ten of the women in her wedding party. (This grand soiree wedding is in June in Chelan, WA, and should be stunning!) Ellie rented a house for her “bach” bash and invited Erik to hang with the gaggle of bridespeople. Being the proper fashionista gay man that he is, he accepted the invitation. He came to our house first to chat with Kelly and me about some life choice ideas he’s considering. (I love him deeply for that and for so much more. Such a fine man…)

The group of presumably straight celebrants had dinner at Trio then went partying at Hunters (a totally gay bar). That’s where Erik and I met up with them. I went only to see my niece who I love dearly. I was impressed that she was still upright but I suspect it wasn’t for long. Hope they made it back to the rented house before either passing out or getting arrested.

It was a fun day! I’m so grateful for my Kelly and Dooney, for my son and my niece, and for the gifts and pleasures of the day. As the magic number 69 approaches, I’m so clear that life is good indeed…

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1953 – The Diana Foundation was founded in Houston, Texas, by a small group of friends. The Diana Foundation is a nonprofit organization and recognized as the oldest continuously active gay organization in the United States. It hosts two annual fundraising events including its Diana Awards.

1982 – Victor Victoria opens nationwide to generally rave reviews. Blake Edward’s farce, based on a 1933 German film, Viktor und Viktoria, features Robert Preston as perhaps the most relaxed and affable homosexual ever scripted into a major Hollywood motion picture. The movie becomes a box office hit and accomplishes what many years of gay liberation had not: an impression on the general public’s consciousness of homosexuals as compassionate and likable people

1987 – The FDA approves AZT for the treatment of HIV /AIDS

2004, Quebec – the Court of Appeal upholds a superior court ruling that same-sex marriages are legal under Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The Canadian provinces of Ontario and British Columbia already permitted same-sex marriage

2012 – The US Supreme Court declines to hear John Lotter’s case. In 1993, he killed transgender man Brandon Teena and was sentenced to the death penalty. The story is depicted in the film Boys Don’t Cry.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 17, 2016

Yesterday was such a good day. I golfed with my friends in the Saticoy Women’s Golf Club in the morning, babysat my grandsons later in the day, then drove out to the desert to be with Kelly in the evening.

I struggle with golf and sometimes get really frustrated. I’ve taken lessons, went to golf camp, bought new clubs that promised to improve my game, and play often, and yet my score reflects little more than a poor bowling game! I know I need to let go of the score thing and just enjoy the experience, and most of the time I do, but yesterday I didn’t like having my usual sucky score. I think I need to work on my attitude more than my golf and just understand that I’ll likely not improve anymore than I already have. And I should stop keeping score like the women in The Villages! They just go out, play a round in the fresh air with fun company, and then go to lunch. Done!

Babysitting the boys… The oldest is 5, the youngest is 19 months. Both boys, with their beautiful blonde silky hair (like their dad had when he was their ages), are sweet, thoughtful loving, kind little kids. Big brother is gentle with his little brother, not flinching at all when little brother disrupts whatever big brother’s doing. Little brother is trip! He’s a kissy little guy, running around nonstop, always with a book in hand (his two favorites last night were a thesaurus and a book on liver diseases…go figure!), climbing in and out of a big cardboard box then scooting up my legs and onto my lap for mouth kisses, laughing the entire time. One of the moms informed me that little brother hadn’t pooped in days due to some meds for a cold, so he might be irritable and uncomfortable. The instant the moms were out the door, little brother proudly pooped his brains out… thank you. And big brother once again honored me by asking me to be his potty partner. I accepted. I love these little guys like crazy and always enjoy the moments I have with them, even when I’m p to my elbows in little-boy-poop. I’m so grateful that their moms include me in their lives. The boys are close to the ages of my children when I lost custody. My heart fills with so much love knowing that I get to watch these two little guys grow up…

And this morning I awoke in Palm Springs, with Kelly by my side and Dooney at my feet, as the sun rose and with birds singing in our gorgeous back yard… life is good, indeed!

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1977 – Two years after having repealed its state sodomy laws, Arkansas’s state legislature votes to repeal the repeal and reinstates criminal penalties for homosexual acts between consenting adults

1987 – The White House reveals that President Reagan has undergone AIDS testing out of fear that he may have contracted the disease during blood transfusions after his 1981 assassination attempt

1989 – Actor Merritt Butrick, best known for his portrayal of James Kirk’s son in the films Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, dies of AIDS in Los Angeles at the age of twenty-nine. He was also Johnny Slash from the short-lived ’80s sitcom Square Pegs starring a young Sarah Jessica Parker and Jami Gertz.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 12, 2016

I was chatting with Regina yesterday about the issue of aging. We spoke fondly of a person who is 20 years older than I (not my mother who is 21 years older!) and it struck me that in 20 years I’ll be 89. That’s ONLY 20 years! Not very far away, and that’s IF I get to live that long!

I’m going to be 69 next week. How on earth did THAT happen? I feel so much younger (and so much wiser), and I certainly enjoy life a heck of a lot more today than I ever have in my entire life. Twenty years.

Twenty years ago, 1996, I was 49 and still working at the University of Michigan. It was the year I graduated with my doctoral degree from UNF. My son and I had not yet reunited. My second granddaughter and two grandsons were not yet born. My first book was not yet published. My Dad and my sister Sherry were still enjoying life. Twenty years.

In twenty years, provided I am alive and well, I expect to still be sharing life with Kelly, still be traveling the world though maybe not doing bicycle adventures so much, still playing golf, still writing books and screenplays, maybe being a great-grandmother (if the grands have kids by then), wondering who will still be here, and still grateful for the gifts the Universe provides.

Twenty years? Who knows? Twenty years… All I really know is that all I have is this moment. I can’t predict the future nor do I wish to try to do so. The best I can do is live and love as best I can, in this one moment, taking care of my body and my health and my relationships, building moment upon moment, until perhaps one day I will look back and marvel at how amazing the last twenty years – as these past twenty years – have been.

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1976 – At a campaign stop in Los Angeles, Democratic presidential candidate Jimmy Carter tells an audience that, if elected, he would be willing to issue an executive order banning discrimination against gay people in housing, employment, immigration and the military

1995, Cambodia – Same sex couple married in the village of Kro Bao Ach Kok. It was allowed because one of the partners already had children from a previous marriage. If they were both childless, the marriage would not have been allowed because they couldn’t produce children. There were about 250 guests at the wedding including Buddhist monks and high officials from the province.

2004 – The Wisconsin State Senate approves of an amendment to the state constitution (20-13) that would ban both same-sex marriages and civil unions

2004 – Oregon’s attorney general issues an opinion on same-sex marriage, stating that issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples would contradict current state law. At the same time, he also concluded that the Oregon Supreme Court would probably strike down those statutes as violating the state’s constitution. Partially as a result of this, the Wisconsin State Senate voted to approve an amendment to the state constitution banning same-sex marriages or even civil unions.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 11, 2016

Our friends Beau and Cecelia arrived yesterday from Apache Junction, Arizona on their way back up to Port Townsend, WA. It’s always good to see them and we had another wonderful time. We walked through the very crowded Palm Springs Street Fair last evening, enjoyed some yogurt along the way.

While we were cruising the Fair, the four of us were stopped in our tracks by a gorgeous piece of art. It was a 24” x 36” aluminum piece, all shiny black with a very multicolored female figure arising from a pool of white. The artists told us that he depicted her as rising up into her own. That’s exactly how we saw her as well and the four of us fell in love with the piece. Kelly and I made arrangements to meet with the artiest a week from Saturday at the Desert Art Fair after we agreed on a place for her in our home. As we walked away, Beau and Cecelia put their arms around us and said, “It’s a perfect wedding present because we all found it together.” And they bought it for us! What a generous, loving thing to do! The artist will deliver the piece in a few days.

For my entire life I searched to belong… anywhere, community, friends, organizations, anywhere. I always felt as if I were always on the periphery, never truly “part of.” I counteracted that with being a well-known activist, author, and educator. Today I have a loving partner, dedicated friends, a precious family, and a sense of place…and, ironically, I’m hardly known by anyone anymore beyond my circle of love. And I’ve never been happier…

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

222, Italy – Elagabalus was assassinated at age 18 in Italy because of his relationship with Hierocles, a charioteer

1998 – Torben Lund and Yvonne Herlov, the first two openly gay and lesbian members of the Danish Parliament, took office

2003 – the first transgender person, Reuben Zellman, is accepted in the Reform Judaism Seminary in Cincinnati, Ohio. Rabbi Zellman is now the assistant rabbi and music director of Congregation Beth El in Berkeley, CA.

2007 – first openly LGBTQ person, Rabbi Toba Spitzer, chosen to head an American Rabbinical Association, in Arizona.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni

Being 69: A Year in the Life of a Fun Old Lesbian – March 10, 2016

Yesterday was just sweet. We woke up, walked over to the gym and had a good workout, went to a CoDA meeting, bought groceries for ourselves and a friends who’s ill, then spent the remainder of the day at home. We even made up some games to play on our putting green for fun and to improve our putting games.

At the CoDA meeting, the topic of conversation was about trust, always something I’ve pondered over the decades, mostly because I had very little. After I realized I was a lesbian, at the ripe old age of 11, I didn’t trust anyone. I thought my family would disown me and my friends would reject me if they knew. The odd thing is that I had no evidence of that. I never heard my family talk about homosexuality in any way but for some reason, I believed that they’d “lock me up and throw away the key.” (My mantra.)

I didn’t trust myself because my heart always betrayed me. (How could I pretend to like the guy who was my date when I really wanted to be with the girl who was with her date in the back seat of our car?) And I had developed ulcerative colitis so I didn’t trust that my body wouldn’t act out and become loud or even incontinent.

That was the setup for developing relationships. I trusted no one, not even myself. As a result, my relationships were often and fleeting. I figured if anyone really knew me, they’d leave. So I left first (with the one exception where she left me).

Today I’m deeply grateful that I have CoDA and a program that allows me to explore and understand my issues. For nearly 15 years I’ve allowed myself the opportunity to know my character defects and to work with a Higher Power who loves me even when I fail. Today I get to have a loving relationship with a woman with whom trust and vulnerability are among the agreed-upon primary aspects of who we are as a couple. If I feel myself beginning to question my sense of trust, for myself, for her, I am able to talk about it with her without acting out or leaving. And the colitis? It has been quiescent for 25 years.

Today, as I approach my 69th birthday in ten days, I am deeply grateful, and truly and finally precious and free…

_____________________________

On this day in LGBT history (from QUIST, Lavender Effect, Back2Stonewall, and/or Wikipedia. (If you are unsure about accuracy, please do your research and let me know. Thanks!)

1778, Pennsylvania – From George Washington’s letters: Lt. Enslin of Col. Malcolm’s regiment tried for attempting to commit sodomy with John Monhort, a soldier. His Excellency the Commander in Chief approves the sentence and with the Abhorrence and Detestation of such Infamous Crimes order Lt. Enslin to be drummed out of Camp tomorrow morning by all the Drummers and Fifers in the Army never to return. Enslin wasdismissed with Infamy.”

1985 – William Hoffman’s play about AIDS, As Is, opens at New York City’s Circle Rep Theater. Less than six weeks later, Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart opens at the Public Theater;

1987 – AIDS advocacy group ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) is formed in response to the devastating effects the disease has had on the gay and lesbian community in New York;

1994, German – Paragraph 175, the section of the German Penal Code that outlawed sexual acts between men is repealed. It was used heavily by the Nazis to persecute gay and bisexual men.

2009 – In Tel Aviv, Uzi Even and his life partner was the first same-sex male couple in Israel whose right of adoption has been legally acknowledged. The Israeli Court rules in their favor.

_____________________________

I encourage you to write your stories. If you’d like to see your memoir and stories in print, let’s work together. I can help you self-publish your work. If this interests you, please see my website at http://purpledistinctions.com/self_publishing.html

Write your story! Now is good!

Warmly,

Ronni