It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 30, 2104

I was right. Today was beyond crazy in that I moved to my mother’s house today and I’m totally exhausted. One of the great things about today, though, was that my sisters were on hand to help which actually made the day kind of fun. The other gift of the day was the two incredible young men who I hired to help. They were on time, efficient, respectful, and helpful. The only time they stopped was when I bought lunch for them and invited them to sit down at my mother’s table to enjoy their meal.

And…. I was able to unpack 15 boxes, get my bed made, and feel good about stopping for the evening. Really, in the big picture of moves (and I’ve done many), this was pretty darned good. I’m a tired but deeply grateful woman today. My inner spirit helped me reaps the rewards of the day, and it was good.

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): I reap wonderful rewards today when I let my inner spirit help me to forgive.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1960 – In France, the National Assembly adds homosexuality to a list of fleaux sociaux (“social plagues”) that the government is charged to combat; 2003 – George W. Bush, sitting president of the United States, says he supports “codifying marriage in the United States as being between one man and one woman.

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Ronni

It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 29, 2014.

I attended a membership event for my mother’s synagogue this evening. It was held at a house nearby so I walked over to it. The Rabbi provided snacks by hold a baking demonstration. In-between dishes, and while they were cooking, he spoke about the importance of Judaism and synagogue. He said that attending synagogue offers healing, community, a place of meditation, study, and a shared sense of values and commitments. He also said that today’s Conservative synagogues and movement create a balance between the traditional and the modern world.

And yet I still wonder…. I have such a deep belief in God and in my Higher Power. I have no doubt that the Universe guides me and shows me the way (as long as I can get out of my own way and stop interfering with my Higher Power’s plan for me!). All the things Rabbi says the synagogue offers are also, or actually primarily, what I find in the 12-step communities.

I tried synagogue so many times and just never felt like I belonged. I wanted to belong but I seemed to not really fit in. And it’s not that I deny my Jewishness. I certainly do not. I’m proud to be culturally Jewish and to own my Jewish heritage and history. I just don’t feel comfortable in the synagogue.

But as the meditation today says, what I do NOT need is one more thing on which to obsess! And so I won’t…and it is thankfully forgotten!

I finished packing for the move tomorrow. Sister Sherry helped me hang new drapes at Mom’s house to freshen my space there. Mom’s ordered new sliding glass doors so it will all look lovely when finished.

And now to sleep because tomorrow is going to be one busy-ass day!

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): Every once in a while I have to deal with my obsessions. Some obsessions change while others raise their ugly heads. Some are thankfully forgotten. My obsession with anything today means I have forgotten what is in my control and which tools can help me. I’ll look to a friend in for guidance.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1519 – four men burned in Valencia, Spain, for sodomy; 1953 – Tim Gunn, fashion guru is born; 1978 – The Village People’s first major hit Macho Man disco single debuts and eventually goes gold.

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It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 28, 2014

I hate being codependent! I work my program and I’ve come a long way from where I started when I went to my first meeting 13 years ago, but codependency is my default and sometimes I go back to those messed-up placed. I recognize it quicker, recover quicker, and regroup quicker, but it still bites me in the butt sometimes. Oy!

I had lunch with a friend today who is dealing (or maybe not, really) with her own codependent behavior. Sadly, she completely changed her life for another without honoring what she knew to be true deep down inside. Not only did it all blow up, it did so in another country! She’s home now and I listened to her today. I know she’ll be fine; she’s a tough one, but it’s just a darned shame that she had to go through all that.

One of the things for which I’m grateful is that Kelly and I didn’t move in together, didn’t do the U-Haul thing together. Oh sure, we spend lots of time together in a number of locations, and I hope one day we do live out our lives under the same roof – if that’s what the Universe has in store for us, but I believe our relationship is stronger, kinder, more respectful because we both needed to move slowly. I appreciate that about her and like that about myself. Yay us!!

I’ve been packing all day today. I’m kind of grumpy. No, I’m grumpy. And I’m tired now. One more day and then the UNpacking begins.

A happy thing today is that one of my beloved former students, Amrik Johal, was hired by UCLA today as a student affairs professional. I’m so proud of that young man and wish him well!

Finally, I’m happy to say that we an now advertise that Letter to Anita is a featured film in the Long Beach QFest in September! Thank you, LBQF!!!!

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): We need to feed our hearts well through reading, prayer, and meditation, and to exercise them by loving. I will exercise today to connect with my Higher Power. My efforts affect all my experiences.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1961 – Illinois becomes the first U.S. state to repeal its sodomy law; 1985 – first AIDS Walk in Los Angeles; 1988 – A major 175-picture retrospective of Robert Mapplethorpe’s photographs-”Robert Mapplethorpe: The Perfect Moment”- opens at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York City;

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It’s good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 27, 2014.

Packing today in preparation for the move to my mother’s house. Someone asked me how it felt to be going home. I’m not going home. I never lived in that house. I grew up in the family house in North Miami Beach. When I was a junior in college at Florida in 1967, my family moved to Los Angeles and then to Ventura (and this house) in about 1972. I was married and making babies when my folks moved into this house. But I’m happy to be going to my mother’s house to help her as needed, though she’s clear that I’m traveling a great deal this coming year. I think just having my things in her house will help her feel as if she’s not so alone.

I changed my FB status today and it caused a small firestorm. I updated my address, my work, and my relationship status, and suddenly a couple hundred people were congratulating Kelly and me on our relationship. So strange! We’ve been together –somewhat loosely and without a label – for most of almost-three-years. For us, nothing really has changed other than the willingness to say we’re partners and to be exclusive. I just thought it was false advertising to have my FB relationship status say I’m single. But then, as my son once said, if it’s not on FB, it’s not real.

And now for the reality of sleep…

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): If I want to accentuate my positive traits, it is up to me to practice them today.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1928 – Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness is published in the UK; 1940 – The Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, is born; 1967 – homosexual acts in the UK are decriminalized.

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Ronni

It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 26, 2014.

Four AM came really quickly this morning but I needed to be up to set up the yard sale. My sister and brother-in-law arrived at 5 and we got everything onto the drive and out of the garage which we closed. People started coming at 6! AM! I told one guy he was supposed to bring the coffee! It was a hectic 5 hours or so but we did well. Good Will is picking up the remainder of the stuff on Monday.

Today was easier on Mom than yesterday, I think. Yesterday the realization must have hit her that things she collected with my dad were being sold or given away. She was sad, I could tell, but she wasn’t going to talk about it. Today she seemed stronger, talking with folks, negotiating prices, and ready to given stuff away by noon!

I can’t begin to imagine what she feels as she sees her life change since Dad died last year. Same for Kelly. I just can’t imagine loosing a life-partner after decades of adventures and challenges but with a foundation of deep love and respect. I never had that kind of relationship, and now, as an older person, it gets tricky. I don’t dwell on this much at all but I guess the yard sale got me to thinking/feeling: like, do I even have 25 years left to have a 25-year relationship? Who knows? Not I, that’s for sure. The very best I can do is love hard each day, one day at a time, and make every day count. I feel very blessed, I must say, with Kelly in my life as my partner, and Regina as my best friend, and my sisters and brothers and children and grands, and a bunch of sweet, kind, lovely, loving friends. I don’t know what the future holds – and don’t need to – but for this day, life is good and I’m deeply grateful.

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): I need the people who surround me now. I may not understand the reason, but I don’t need to. Trust is all that’s necessary.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1989 – In a response to political outcries over a Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit, Jesse Helms leads a fight in the U.S. Senate to curtail National Endowment for the Arts funding for “obscene or indecent art,” including artworks that depict “sadomasochism, homoeroticism, the exploitation of children, or individuals engaged in sex acts.” The measure is overwhelmingly adopted.

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It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 25, 2014.

My sisters and I began setting up for the giant yard sale tomorrow at Mom’s. On one hand, I think it’ll be great fun, but on the other hand, I sense an awfully stressful day. There is SO much crap, er, uh, I mean, treasures that everyone will surely offer us far more than we think something is worth. Hmmm…unlikely. But I plan to go through the day tomorrow with a smile and a good attitude regardless of the outcome.

Today Kelly and I signed up for a wonderful trip a year from August! Kelly selected our Olivia Amsterdam-Basel, Switzerland cruise for next April so I got to select the next one. We’re going to do another trip with WomanTours and bike/barge across Italy!

Before Kelly and I started traveling together, I had a bucket list of places I wanted to see before I, well, kicked the bucket. But I’ve reframed that bucket thing. I now have an adventure list! And the really cool thing is that I have an adventure buddy and partner who’s such a good sport when I come up with some cockamamie ideas…like biking in Louisiana or biking/barging across Italy or climbing the Great Wall, or hiking to the Sphinx Observatory in Switzerland. Ahhhhh….life is good!

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): Dare to be empty. Dare to let go. Dear to believe. I will let God take charge if I rely on the examples and experiences of the friends I know I can trust. Today is easy.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1970 – The Vatican issues a statement reminding the faithful that the Roman Catholic Church considers homosexuality a moral aberration; 1979 – Hundreds of demonstrators show up on Manhattan’s Lower East Side to protest location shooting for William Friedkin’s new film, Cruising, which deals with a series of grisly mutilation murders within the city’s gay leather community.

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It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 24, 2014.

I read today that on Tuesday US Congressperson Jared Polis (D, Colorado)  introduced a second version of the measure that would amend the religious exemption to treat sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination “in the same manner as is required with respect to discrimination based on race, color, sex and national origin under” Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination would be treated the same as discrimination based on race, color, sex and national origin.

This is exactly what I’ve always wanted, always what I’ve fought for: THIS is equality under the law of the land. Without this law, everything else is just a band-aid, a bone thrown to us LGBT people to keep us happy. Same sex marriage is a lovely idea – and anyone should be able to marry if they wish – but it does NOT define anyone’s civil rights. People may still be fired or lose their kinds or be denied hospital visitation regardless of their marital status. Civil rights means being fully included in federal law.

I bought a new wallet today. It’s okay but it’s not my beautiful (but old) purple Coach wallet. But Kelly had a great idea. She said that it’s these kinds of things that we should search for and buy overseas so that we remember our trip every time we use the item, in this case my wallet. I like that! Two years ago when we were in Paris, Kelly bought me a beautiful bottle of perfume called Little Black Dress. The fragrance is so gentle, almost like a light baby powder smell. I love it. Every time I put it on, I remember Paris and I remember the cabin on the ship where Kelly gave it to me. Perhaps a fun wallet is next..

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): I will make the choice to love others today. The more love I give away, the more love out feel.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST and/or Lavender Effect): 1969 – Gay liberation Front formed in New York City; 2011 – The first legal same-sex marriages performed in New York. New York City records 659 marriages, a one-day record.

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Ronni

It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 23, 2014

My friend Annie visited from Los Angeles today.  I always have such interesting conversations with her. She’s an art/drama teacher in the LAUSD and a screen/playwright as well. One of the conversations we had, or rather, she had (I listened because she was so wound up with it) was about Israel and Hamas. She, like so many people I know, were in full defense of Israel. I just am not though I don’t support Hamas at all. It just seems to me that there are no winners…already no winners. Everyone has already lost and the losing just keeps on. Yes, I do believe in the right to defend, but when does the violence stop, whether in Israel or Syria or Ukraine or anywhere? Why must war happen? I contend that if the leaders of countries are bound for war, they should simply take themselves and their overloaded testosterone, go into a boxing ring, and duke it out among themselves without killing off populations of so many people who didn’t want to fight to begin with. I don’t have a solution, but I’m sure killing isn’t it…

I become very frustrated with my new healthcare insurance. I switched form Kaiser to Blue Shield California when I moved to Oxnard last year. I hate it, so I called Kaiser this morning and switched back. The good news is that Kaiser has added gym memberships which was a big reason why I left last year. It’s the one benefit I value. Glad to be a Kaiser Klient again!

I’m planning my trip to Massachusetts for September. I’m doing an external review of the LGBT Center at UMASS Amherst. I’m excited to go there and am happy about that set of work. I’m grateful!

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): I am not the cause of someone else’s success or failure today. I may help God’s plan, but I can’t make it happen.

Did you know – LGBT history (from the Lavender Effect or Quist): 1975 – Evangelist Billy Graham states that he is in favor of gay men being ordained as ministers though he hedges on the question of whether women should enjoy the same right

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Ronni

It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 22, 2014

What an interesting day today! I met a young woman named Puppet for lunch. She’s a filmmaker in Los Angeles and is the co-owner of a bookstore-in-process in Philadelphia.

This afternoon I had my business class teleseminar. I’m working on developing my first marketing campaign, the communication tools, and curriculum. Fun stuff! I hope to have my first free writing seminar online in December and the first two-day online writing seminar in January.

I had dinner with a young man named Ray from Cal State Channel Islands. He’s head of the LGBT org there, is involved with student government, and has outstanding potential to be a mover and shaker in LGBT orgs, especially in higher ed. Funny, while I was chatting with him, I has a voice mail message from my dear friend Tom Bordon who is the executive director of PFLAG Boston. He was leaving a message thanking me for being a mentor who helped guide him to the work he’s now doing. Between Tom and Ray, this was such a heartwarming evening for me!

After a good-night call with Kelly, I’m going to do my seminar homework after I finish my blog. After a gorgeous day oin the harbor…good night!

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): I am not powerless over what I do, think, or say today. I have all the power I need to have whatever kind of day I want.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST): 2011 – Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal introduced in Congress; 2010 – Argentina legalizes same sex marriage.

It’s good to be 67!

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Ronni

It’s Good to be 67!…Ronni Sanlo’s blog. July 21, 2014.

Such a non-descript day today… I worked out at the gym this morning, always an enjoyable thing for me. Then my mother and I prepared for the yard sale on Saturday. I took four boxes of stuff over to her house, the she and I met Sherry and Barry and Kenny and Amy and Merex and Luxie for dinner.

Some of my credit cards and my drivers license arrived today. I really need a wallet. Ill go to the outlet mall later this week to find a new one.

Really, overall, the most exciting things I did today was make one fabulous pot of coffee. Perhaps that’s all that needed to be done today. And the sunset was absolutely stunning….

My Meditation (from Women’s Spirit): If I feel low today, I have some tools to use. Letting go of the thoughts that harm me is the first one to try.

Did you know – LGBT history (from QUIST): 2014 – President Obama issues executive order to prohibit job discrimination against LGBT people in federal employment.

It’s good to be 67!

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Ronni