It’s good to be 67!…April 29, 2014

I’m flying home from Florida as I type. Flying is the ultimate lack of control, don’tcha think? I have no control over the actions of the pilots or the behavior of the plane. All I can do it sit there and feel the movement. I can choose to be anxious about it or simply let go and enjoy the ride. I always choose the latter because Step One in CoDA says “I am peerless over others (and planes!) and I life has become unmanageable.” Powerless…and it’s truly okay.

I had such a wonderful time in The Villages. My friend Helen Schwartz always makes me feel like such a valued guest and dear friend. Through her, over the years, I’ve met many women in The Villages and see many of them often when I’m there. The temptation to move there is great, not because of the location so much as the feeling of belonging when I’m there. I’m not going to move yet, of course, but I know that it’s always a possibility for my future. But, damn!, there’s so much to do there: golf, LGBT dance classes, gyms, LGBT bike clubs, hike clubs, LGBT golf clubs, and the LGBT community is large, strong, and organized. And the cost of the houses there is very affordable.

I’ve moved so much during my lifetime. I would really love to be in one spot, with one person, both of which I can count on to gently and actively into the future. Ahhhh…. maybe….

Today in LGBT history (from http://www.back2stonewall.com/?s=april+29): 1933 – Singer Rod McKuen is born in Oakland, California. His “new age” songs made him a celebrity in the late 60s. He told an interviewer “I have had sex with men. Does that make me gay?”

My meditation for today (from A Women’s Spirit): I feel love when I give love away. What I give to others comes back to me. Let me give love and compassion rather than judgment, impatience, and anger.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67!…April 28, 2014

I played golf with three women each of whom was 74 and up. They were so full of life, so enjoying the day and their golf game, and stopped to see flowers and watch the cranes along the way. I felt very privileged to be with these beautiful old gals.

There was a crazy thing that happened, though. When I used the word “lesbian,” they all cringed and one even shushed me. “We don’t say that word here.” Huh??? I know I’ve heard this before whenever I visited in The Villages but it always catches me off guard. I know these older women used – and still use – the term “gay girls.” I came out at the height of the women’s movement smack into the arms of the words “lesbian” and “dyke.”  I fought damned hard for the right to call myself whatever I wish and to use the words “lesbian” and “dyke.” And I know that today’s young LGBT folks hardly ever use any label. I believe every person has the right to name herself and to use labels or not. But please don’t shush me. Not ever!

Meditation for today: I look my past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so I can live fully for today.

Today in LGBT history (from http://www.back2stonewall.com/2013/04/week-gay-history-april-28-4.html). 1977  Florida Governor Rubin Askew asks Miami voters to rescind a recently passed ray rights ordinance saying, “I would not want a known homosexual teaching my children. Askew was an ally of Florida Orange Juice spokesperson Anita Bryant, who conducted an anti-gay crusade and signed legislation prohibiting any gay or lesbians in Florida from adopting children.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67!…April 27, 2014

I’m sitting on Helen’s lanai in The Villages in Florida which overlooks a beautiful golf course. There is a small lake between the house and the course. A large heron is sunning itself directly in front of me. The hibiscus are in full bloom and the white puffy clouds dot a gorgeous blue sky. There is a four-some of women playing on the green directly in front of me, and the birds are chirping madly.

Helen took me to breakfast this morning then to the Eisenhower Recreation Center (there are many such centers in The Villages). This one was decorated by gifts from former military personnel who live here of memorabilia from the various wars in which they or family members participated. It was tremendously touching, and is a great place for me to do a book signing when I WWII book is ready.

Ten women will be at Helen’s for dinner tonight as a pre-birthday celebration. I know most of them, look forward to meeting the ones I don’t know. Golf in the morning tomorrow then a fancy birthday dinner at the Nancy Lopez golf course.

Helen has invited me to come live with her for a day or for however long I want to stay. My wanderlust is now in full tilt boogie! I could put my belongings in storage when my lease is up on 10/31 (well, maybe do a 6-month month-to-month to prepare), go to The Villages in Florida for a few months to write my screen-play, then go to Key West to write my 525 United book, then maybe go to Seattle to write my LGBT kids book. Just live in different places for a few months at a time, maybe themed places to keep my writing inspiration ignited. Okay, this is a fantasy. A maybe. The really cool thing is that it could happen if I want it to. Hell, I could even rent a villa in Italy for a few months to write! Sweeeeet!

Or maybe I’ll settle down with my beloved and simply – and lovingly – write from home… It’s all good!

My meditation for today: God’s will, not mine. God’s time-frame, not mine. Whatever the future holds, it’s exactly right…

Today in LGBT history (from http://www.back2stonewall.com/2013/04/week-gay-history-april-21-27.html): 1951. Luis Zapata, Mexico’s most productive and successful gay writer is born.  Zapata studied French literature at the National Autonomous University of Mexico. In his best-known work, Las aventuras, desaventuras y sueños de Adonis García, el vampiro de la colonia Roma (1979; Adonis García: A Picaresque Novel), he chronicled the lives of urban homosexuals. His other works include Hasta en las mejores familias (1975; “Even in the Best Families”), De pétalos perennes (1981; “Of Perennial Petals”), De amor es mi negra pena (1983; “Of Love That Is My Hell”),

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67!…April 26, 2014

I feel so happy today! My dear friend Helen is 75 years young, plays golf, bowls, and loves her weekly bridge and poker nights. Her life is very full here in The Villages. It’s such a joy to watch her move through the world in good health and having such a great time. She’s single, so if you know a 70-something active, attractive woman for her, please let me know!

We had dinner with several of Helen’s friends this evening. One couple just bought their home today in The Villages and were beyond excited. Another couple are about to take off for the summer for parts unknown in their motor home, with no direction and no time restraints. They’ll all be here tomorrow night for a casual pre-birthday dinner, then golf for all of us Monday morning, then the big dinner Monday night.

The Villages is not the most charming of places I’ve ever visited. Certainly it’s not Key West or Port Townsend or Oxnard or even Jacksonville. But it’s a community with a very large, active LGBT community of older folks. I always feel a sense of belonging here even when I’m here for only a couple of days. Perhaps this place is in my future…I don’t know. I do know that, throughout my life, I search for that place where I truly belong, where people invite others to dinner for no reason, and where holiday tables are decorated with families of choice. I know geography is no cure for what ails one emotionally, but it does cure, I think, the dis-ease of feeling like one belongs to, with, and in a place. Perhaps…or perhaps all one needs to feel a sense of belonging somewhere is to simple say so…

My meditation for today (from A Women’s Spirit): I don’t need anything special to feel happy, just the attainment of wisdom and a reliance on my Higher Power.

Today in LGBT history (from the Quist app): 1944. Violette Morris killed. Morris had been banned from the 1928 Olympics for her lesbianism, but she was killed for an unrelated reason. She was shot as a traitor by the French Resistance in WWII

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67!…April 25, 2014

On the plane to Tampa. Such a quick trip but an important one. I’ve been thinking so much lately about “showing up,” about being present for those about whom I care. I moved to Ventura (Oxnard really) so I could be present for my mother and for my sister.

I am flying to the Villages in Florida on this quick trip to show up for my old friend Helen’s 75th birthday. (I wish I could have shown up for Scott’s funeral two days ago but my heart was there in Jacksonville with the Saragas. I tried to change my flight but it couldn’t make it happen.) I think showing up means to be counted on.

I know I have loving people in my life on whom I can count, and I know I’m someone on whom my family and pals can count. It’s that knowing that someone is there, 100%, without doubt, without question, without hesitation. I’m deeply grateful for having such dear people in my life.

I had an amazing conversation with a very old friend (like since we were 14!) this morning. He’s become a book client of mine, very hetero butch kind of guy. We’ve been working together for the last couple of months and today he shared that his son is gay. This is the third old friend from my childhood who has shared stories of their gay or lesbian children with me this past year. I love the way my world intersects with so many with such surprise, such trust, and such love.

My horoscope today said that it was time for change, that today is the first day of the rest of my life and I must go forward without looking back. I have no regrets, lots of gratitude, and I look forward with excitement to whatever the Universe has in store for me… Carry on!!!!

Today in LGBT history (Quist): 1954. President Eisenhower sings executive order 10450 establishing sexual perversion as grounds for investigation and dismissal.

Today’s meditation (from A Woman’s Spirit):I learn to detach with love and live my own life fully, as I allow others to do the same.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67!…April 24, 2014

On the train on my way home from Palm Springs, I felt sad but also clear about who I am and how I move through the world. Life is all about change and how we deal with those changes. I know that I am both flexible and have such a positive outlook, and I deeply love and appreciate the people who journey with me whether they’re beside me in the moment or with me in spirit. As today’s mediation states, healing is learning to trust my won wisdom, my intuition. I’ve learned over the years that I MUST trust myself if I’m to move happily and safely through the world.

I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow. Going to the Villages for just a couple of days to celebrate Helen Schwartz’s 75th birthday. I’m looking forward to seeing Helen and some of my Village people and to playing some golf while there. Sometimes I wonder if The Villages in Florida will one day be my home. I have many friends there and the activities that I love are plentiful, and I could have a small boat docked in Palatka. Don’t know yet…don’t need to.

Today in LGBT history (from the Quist app): 1993. First Dyke March, Washington DC, planned by the Lesbian Avengers with over 20,000 women marching.

My meditation for today (from A Women’s Spirit): Healing is learning to trust my own wisdom, my own intuition. I am wise. I’ll know what to do today in every situation if I open my heart to my higher power.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67…April 23, 2014

Changes. Not wrong. Not right. Just different. It’s all okay… Breathing in and out today, aware of my feelings, and looking forward…

Today in LGBT history (Quist). 1984. The US Dept. of Health and Human Services Secretary holds a press conference announcing that the cause of AIDS has been discovered. Known today as HIV, the virus is first named  GRID – gay related immune deficiency.

Today’s meditation (http://www.uua.org/worship/words/meditations/111664.shtml):

Breathing in, I am aware of peace.

Breathing out, I am aware that I am worthy of peace.

Breathing in, I am aware of love.

Breathing out, I am aware that I am worthy of love.

Breathing in, I am aware of joy.

Breathing out, I am aware that I am an agent of joy.

Breathing in
, I am aware of hope.

Breathing out, I am aware that I am an agent of hope.

Breathing in, I am aware.

 

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67…April 22, 2014

Today I get to work my program of recovery every single moment! CoDependents Anonymous helps me stay focused on my challenges and successes, allowing me to fully own responsibility while not blaming anyone else for anything that happens in my life.  I know this probably sounds selfish on some level, but, really, I need to care for myself, maintain my self-respect and personal integrity, and love myself the best. If I’m able to feel that for myself, I can then feel it for others. And I have such a deep understanding that I’m not alone…my Higher Power is always with me.

I had a mini-discussion with a dear friend about God and the concept of a Higher Power. So many people in my life had horrible experiences in the name of God. I did not beyond selling God short in my life. What I learned in CoDA is that I can – and did – reframe God into a loving, internal force.  Or one’s Higher Power could be the sunshine or dolphins or the ocean or anything one wishes. Or nothing which is also a Higher Power.  Whatever, I feel safe and at peace in knowing that I’m never alone, and that my Higher Power takes care of me when  I can’t tae care of myself. Oh sweet gratitude!

Today in LGBT history (Quist). 2014. Harvey Milk is the first openly gay elected official on a US stamp. Milk made history in 1977, becoming the first openly gay official to be elected to public office. He was only in office for 11 months before he was killed by Dan White.

Today’s meditation: I continue to develop my spiritual, social, and personal skills by applying the principles of my program. I can travel as far as I wish on this wonderful open road of recovery.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67…April 21, 2014

The Monday movie women saw Daft Day today. Cute movie.

This evening I attended the UCLA LGBT Alumni group’s reorganization meeting. It was so wonderful to see old and dear friends. I can contribute strategic planning to/for the group.

Today I was able to engage in a difficult but loving conversation about honoring differences while maintaining my self-respect and integrity, and by choosing to not create drama. In the past I would have created some huge dramatic thing, try to make someone (not me) wrong, and then play the role of the victim. I don’t have to do that today. It serves no purpose and, really, no one is wrong. There are many rights answers. I just need to understand which are the right ones for me. Life is good!

Today in LGBT history (Quist). 1999. first openly gay person, Vaclav Fischer, elected to Czech Senate.

Today’s meditation: I can choose drama…or not.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni

It’s good to be 67…April 20, 2014

What a great day! It started with golf at Saticoy. Nine holes with Judy Jbara and Dee Fairbanks, my very patient golf instructor. I felt good about my game and more confident that I can keep up. The big test will be a week from today in The Villages in Florida where I will play an 18-hole game with my long-time dear friend Helen Schwartz, for her 75th birtrhday.

After we played, Judy and Dee invited me to come to their home for an amazing brunch! Their roommate Irene joined us and the four of us had engaging, fun conversations. I look forward to hanging out with the three of them again.

My friend Julia Balen and I took a short walk around Starbridge Island this afternoon, and now Kelly is on her way to Oxnard. I’ll go back to Palm Springs with her tomorrow evening after our meeting at UCLA with the LGBT Alumni Association on whose board we sit.

As I type, I have my sliding doors open and the fresh air from the channel is wafting ion. The water is actually like glass as the tide is going out. I feel so grounded today, enjoying friends, playing golf, taking a walk, then making dinner. It was a fully gentle day….

Today in LGBT history (from the Quist app): 1966. The NY Mattachine Society staged a “Sip-In” at the Julius Bar in Greenwich Village. This led to court actions that overturned the New York State Liquor Authority’s provisions declaring it illegal for homosexuals to congregate and be served alcoholic beverages in bars.

My meditation for today (from A Women’s Spirit): Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. Being gentle today is much easier than being mean-spirited. My gentle side will guide my inner child and remove my fears.

It’s good to be 67!

What happened with you today?

Keep Writing!

Ronni